What do you want out of life?

Are you leading the life you always dreamed of?  If not, why not?

Certainly, when I married all those years ago, I didn't expect to be where I am today.  I expected to be a hot-shot Nurse Practioner in a private practice group. I expected my husband would own his own Architectural Firm.  I expected my kids to be well behaved, polite and over-achievers. I expected to live in La Jolla, take fabulous vacations and drive a brand new BMW.

Instead, an injury threw me out of the work place nearly 10 years ago.  I live in daily pain. My husband got laid off, again.  My oldest daughter drives me crazy on a daily basis.  The middle one is a surly teen.  And the youngest is struggling in school. Oh, and I'm no where near a beach, haven't been on vacation in 6 years and we won't even begin to talk about my car.

So how did I end up here?  I'm really not sure.  Obviously, I screwed up somewhere.  And not just somewhere, multiple somewheres.  I wake up angry every day.  That is, when I can drag myself out of bed at all. 15 years of working night shift has completely thrown my body for a loop.  Given my druthers, I would be up all night and sleep all day.  But real life doesn't allow me to do that. Real life means the alarm clock goes off at 6 a.m. so I can get the kids off to school.  Real life means the dogs need to go out or they will leave me with a not-so-nice present on the floor.

Real life sucks.